


you are reaching something that is beating

by nonamebut



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22732369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonamebut/pseuds/nonamebut
Summary: Wouldn't the chances of miscommunication drastically decrease when you're multilingual?(Or: Renjun speaks a whole different kind of love language, but Yukhei's always doing his very best.)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 15
Kudos: 142
Collections: 99' ft 00' fic fest





	you are reaching something that is beating

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt FT241: "okay so when we were little i accidentally mentioned that i had a crush on you but i always thought that you didnt hear me because you just looked at me strangely and never commented about that but now we're in college and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend wtf we never discussed this!!!"

“Seriously?” Mark throws a slipper at Yukhei’s head. He misses, but the phantom pain is still oh so vividly felt. “Why didn’t you introduce me to your boyfriend! I was literally right there.”

“Nooooo, look, it’s not even like that at all. He’s not my boyfriend! That’s the problem.”

Both of them flinch from where they’re furiously whispering by the refrigerator. Separated by thin paper walls, Yukhei’s comp sci seniors have started yelling over each other, too engrossed in Worlds to notice their favorite junior is having the mental breakdown of the century.

“That’s, like…” Yukhei can hear the cogs churning in Mark’s head. “Dude, I’m so lost. So you’re saying that Renjun was joking the whole time while you weren’t?”

Well. When Mark puts it like that _and_ switches to full on rapid fire English mode, Yukhei knows he’s well and truly doomed.

“Uhm. Something like that.”

Mark sighs like a single father who’s been scorned by, like, six past lovers. Yukhei is half expecting an impromptu Taeyeon solo when he opens his mouth.

But instead he gets something like this: “Dude, shoot your shot.”

Amazing, show stopping, never seen before. Shakespeare is shaking in his grave, Mark Lee.

“Easy for _you_ to say.”

Yukhei groans, closes his eyes and lets the back of his head thud against the cold steel fridge door. He hears the kiddie magnets Taeyong arranges with the scariest Type A precision rattle unceremoniously.

“What do you mean? Lucas?”

Most of the time Yukhei respects, even adores, the side of Mark that never gives up. But when he gets like this, speaks with so much insistence and logic and all the sense in the world…

“Hey? Lucas? You know, they say jokes are half meant. Or something like that. If Renjun joked about you guys being married I’d like to think that he must at least consider you lover worthy.”

 _Lover_ , Yukhei mouths dramatically. Mark rolls his eyes and shoves at Yukhei’s shoulder.

“Just think about it, okay? It’s not as bad as you think it is.”

Then Mark leaves him there to wallow, and well. Yukhei might as well, right?

He considers it: the idea of, possibly, having been in a loving relationship with his long time BFF for more than a decade. Without even realizing it.

“What the fuck.” Yukhei pouts at the ceiling.

He’s not as dumb as everyone seems to peg him as, alright? Give him some credit. If anything, Yukhei would never miss anything, when it comes to the people he cares about most.

 _Especially_ if it’s about his most favorite person.

That’s the thing about ideas, of the kind that take root and settle in Yukhei’s heart. Yukhei never really notices them at first, sure. But once they bloom, full grown, they end up taking up all the space in the cavern of Yukhei’s chest. It’s hard for him to notice anything else.

And, really, that’s the thing. The big central problem. Yukhei has always had the most vivid, most wild imagination but never has he ever let himself dream of this kind of thing.

(Maybe he had, just for a while, entertained a brief fantasy of marrying his childhood best friend. But Yukhei was young and silly and stupid and knew literally nothing about taxes and global warming and wow was he really marrying in this god damn economy?)

The thing being his longest friend, of course. Which is weird to say, considering he’s also the first friend he’s ever made outside of his family, the first person he thinks of in the morning and the last person he wants to talk to before bed.

Huang Renjun is the worst kind of idea. And that’s that, really.

* * *

The next morning finds Yukhei struggling to put Baekhyun to bed and stuffing Ten into one of the unmade blanket forts.

Mark is kind enough to take everything from there and lets him off with a sleazy wink and finger gun. “Shoot your shot!”

Yukhei throws him the bird.

The dorky giggles Yukhei gets in responses are cut off as he slams the door and makes his way down to the dorm lobby.

It’s strangely more packed than usual here, and he’s a few steps away from pulling out his phone and speed dialling—

“You’re late,” whines Renjun, and the sight of his clenched fists makes Yukhei do a double take.

Yukhei jumps at the sudden contact, making Renjun retract the palm he laid on Yukhei’s shoulder. Renjun clears his throat and repeats, “You’re late!”

Then he realizes how little Renjun is wearing for a cold November afternoon, with his very cute boy shorts and ultra thin shirt. He automatically removes his org jacket and brings it to Renjun’s shoulders.

Plastering on his most winning, charming smile, Yukhei says, “I’m really sorry, Junnie. I had to take care of the hyungs ‘cos they stayed up way too late.”

He makes a soft _pew pew_ noise. “You know, with the fancy game tournament that happened just last night.”

Renjun’s lips twitch. “Okay, okay.”

Yukhei falls into step beside Renjun, stalling and strolling at a far more leisurely pace. Their footsteps slap loudly against the pavement, a staccato accompaniment to a stream of the university radio blasting from one of the lower level dorm windows.

“Have you eaten yet?“ Like clockwork, Yukhei turns to Renjun. Though they’re a little behind schedule today, even though Renjun might still be a little annoyed(?)… it’s still them. Yukhei and Renjun.

“Not yet,” Renjun says, responding to their little ritual of sorts. And Yukhei’s about to follow through by inviting him over to the comp sci building, maybe to bug Taemin into making them food, but Renjun. He.

Renjun takes 1) Yukhei by surprise by taking 2) his hand. He smiles the same smile he’s been beaming up at Yukhei since they were four years old.

“Listen, my friends are inviting us to eat lunch with them.” A brief pause. “Well, it’s mostly Donghyuck who’s insisting to bring you along, that nosy son of a bitch, but I know all of them would really like to meet you.”

“Ah, Donghyuck.” Yukhei distracts himself from the scorching sensation flaring up in his palm by focusing on the way his org jacket fits on Renjun’s shoulders. “Well, I’ve heard nothing but good things about him, so I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Let’s eat with them!”

Renjun scrunches his nose up adorably. In the distance, JohnD introduces the last track in their show’s queue, a sappy love song OST. Yukhei only recognizes it by virtue of being within a ten mile radius of romance obsessed drama lover Xiao Dejun.

“Mark is biased. Love makes you say dumb things.”

“Ha. How would you know? Is someone out there making you an expert in dumb things?”

Tiny crush aside, Yukhei would never miss any opportunity to tease Renjun. But it seems like the younger boy has been anticipating it, this time.

“What do you think?”

Renjun grins the way he does when he knows he’s got the last say. Tugging on Yukhei’s hand, he leads the way, leaving Yukhei staring dazedly at the fine line of his shoulders.

* * *

Lee Donghyuck is truly a force of nature. If Mark wasn’t such a fire sign (have you _seen_ that boy’s chart? Renjun goes ballistic every time someone mentions it and that has to say something) then Yukhei would have felt so bad for him.

Said force of nature squints at the two boys sitting across from him. Yukhei, one of said boys, can’t blame him.

He’d be hella suspicious of the two of them too.

“So. The thing is, both Renjun and Mark have told me a lot about you.” Here, Donghyuck takes a drawn out, dramatic sip of his drink. “I kind of assumed you guys were pretty much married but I didn’t expect to be this _right_.”

“Okay? And?” For as long as Yukhei’s known him, this is the first time he’s ever heard Renjun sound like this. The empty words are all too familiar but the tone—the _tone_.

Yukhei doesn't really know how to describe it, how the strange voice makes him feel.

Donghyuck just cackles and doesn’t dignify Renjun with a response.

In the silence, Renjun mans the grill, fills up Yukhei’s plate some more.

“Thanks mom,” Yukhei jokes, grins. Like habit, like them: whether it’s food or a jacket, there no questions or requests or _words_ needed.

Donghyuck gapes. “Mom? Mommy?”

Eyes not leaving Yukhei’s face, Renjun throws his metal chopsticks at Donghyuck’s direction. Yukhei hears more than sees them land straight at Donghyuck’s face.

That’s coincidentally the moment Mark finally sits down at their table, and the strange moment—and the strange expression that flits through Renjun’s face—passes.

“Hey dudes.” Mark takes one look at Donghyuck’s pout and brings out his big ass android to take a pic of his boyfriend’s increasingly reddening face. With a snort, a soft shutter sound, he asks, “So what did I miss?”

* * *

Just as Yukhei uploads his scheduled wholesome dog pics to his Instagram account, Renjun swings by his dorm.

“Lucas!” Taeyong yells, gently. The way only Lee Taeyong can. “Your Renjun is here. I saw his elevator selca on his story and I’m pretty sure he’s at our building.”

Yukhei cheers from his corner of the couch, cuddled up between a sleeping Baekhyun and what feels like Jongin’s shoulder.

“Yay! I was getting bored.”

When Taeyong blocks the way to the door, Yukhei realizes he may have made a big mistake. Somehow.

He literally braces himself for impact. Taeyong must notice and softens like the softie he’s always been.

“You know, Kun was telling me that you have a boyfriend?” The de facto leader of their whole friend group levels a pout at Yukhei. (It’s effective.) “How come you never told me?”

“Uhhh, what’s there to tell… ?”

It’s at this moment Renjun saves the day, yet again. The door opens and there’s Yukhei’s favorite person in the whole world.

“Oh, Taeyong hyung! I’m glad you were home. I made some more magnets for you.”

Yukhei’s gaze dips down to these really cute handpainted things sitting on Renjun’s delicate palm. His heart rustles and shakes.

“Ooohhh.” Taemin peeks his head out from his blanket fort. “Bringing gifts for the parents, I see, I see.”

All the sudden commotion causes Baekhyun to jolt up on the couch, effectively waking up. He hones in on Renjun with narrowed eyes, but his voice sounds almost… pleased?

“Hey! Don’t I have a gift, too?”

The room then erupts into further chaos.

Even Jongin starts saying something about Yukhei’s honor, how he’s their precious little puppy who works too hard, who smiles too kindly for even those who do not deserve him. It makes everyone _awww_ in agreement—even Renjun himself.

Yukhei’s face burns. He grabs Renjun’s wrist and books it to his room, suddenly grateful that Mark was out with Donghyuck today. “ _Bye_ , hyungs!”

Renjun giggles when the door slams shut. “Ah, hey, I have a little something for you too.”

The idea that Renjun saw something and thought of him—well. That’s quite something.

“I remember you saying that you guys kept doing those overnight stuff for your game streams?” A huff. “Or whatever you call them. So I thought you’d appreciate it if you had a neck pillow, since I know you’re the type to fall asleep even sitting up.“

Yukhei will treasure this cute, small, pink neck pillow forever. So blessed, so moved, so grateful. Never gonna take it for granted.

“You know, the more you do this kinda stuff,” says Yukhei, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, “the more people will really think we’re dating.”

Renjun tilts his head. “Are the hyungs giving you a hard time again? Do you want me to talk to Kun—?”

“Nononono.” Yukhei waves his hands rapidly. For now, he’ll let it be. “Not at all, no.”

Held gently in his grasp, the gift pillow is soft and warm.

But it’s not as gentle as the way Renjun’s hands feel in his when they cuddle on his bed a few minutes later.

* * *

The thing about ideas is that sometimes, the thoughts that linger the longest are the ones that were never yours to begin with. And the more and more you think about it, the more you suspect it’s been planted there by someone else.

… well, it’s a theory that Yukhei’s been testing out. Hypothesizing, rather.

Because how do you know where your feelings start and where everyone else’s projections end? It’s hard sorting it out when you haven’t got a clue, of where to begin. Of what and who to ask.

“Aren’t you going to…?” Renjun’s voice cuts through Yukhei’s train of thought.

“Huh?” A blink, then another. Then Yukhei remembers where he is, standing in line with his friends at a local carnival. “Oh, sorry. You can go on ahead, you can have the first turn.”

“Hmm. Okay. Thanks, hyung.” Though Renjun’s words seem dismissive, the way he smiles up at Yukhei makes the heart rustles happen again. The soft expression shakes up the roots of these old feelings like a windy day.

As Renjun begins to converse brightly with the kind old lady who mans the stand, Yukhei tears his eyes away and realizes that a certain someone has been looking at him. Looking, and perhaps trying to catch his attention all this time.

Kun—at least, that’s the name Yukhei thinks Renjun said when he introduced the tiny man wearing the cutest, softest sweater—squints.

“Don’t tell me you’re suspicious, too!”

“Only a little.“ Kun giggles. Whatever expression must have been on Yukhei’s face must have been so devastating that the small hiccups turn into full on, full body laughter.

Out of the corner of his eye, Yukhei notices Renjun hiding a smile behind his gloves.

“See, I know we were supposed to go to this carnival together, but it’s as if you two have been in your own little world the whole time.”

At least when Kun accuses them, it sounds like it’s affectionate, good natured. Almost like an indulgent dad?

It’s nothing like the mortifying teasing from Baekhyun, or the pointed suggestions given by Taeyong. (The realization only makes Yukhei wish he got better upperclassmen, if only for just a split second.)

“ _Ahhhh_ , hyung.” Renjun sidles up to Kun’s side, and there goes Yukhei’s heart again. “I told you not to go with us! Not even our fault this time.”

And so Kun counters with a _but, still_. And Yukhei finds himself zoning out of the conversation, his eyes landing on the top of Renjun’s pretty head.

He thinks of the way the carousel’s light makes each strand look like its threaded with gold.

“Xuxi?” Renjun’s voice rings out, loud and clear. It makes Yukhei think even more—of bells.

A sigh. “Hey, slow poke! I was asking you what you wanted me to win.”

“Uhhh. That big stuffed bear, over there?”

Kun smiles at Yukhei knowingly but he ignores it in favor of watching the sure line of Renjun’s shoulders, moments before he takes aim and wins the very prize Yukhei mumbled out.

* * *

There really are many things Wong Yukhei is an expert in. All kinds of stuff like video games and dogs and the best places to get really cheap yet quality poster paint.

Growing up in a multicultural environment has not only made him open to differing opinions, but has also loosened his tongue, got him to literally understand other languages.

Countless years of best friendship with Huang Renjun has, perhaps unfortunately, also shaped him into an expert in the art of arguing with Huang Renjun himself.

The good thing is that Yukhei knows how to read the signs, and it always starts like this:

“Stop selling yourself so short,” Yukhei says with a frown.

There’s no other way to explain why Renjun is being so weird about the offer his upperclassmen are making. What’s so wrong about getting your name out there and having your art featured in a game by the local dev rookies?

Yukhei wants, so very badly, to know.

“It’s not selling myself short. It’s just being realistic, you know?” Here, Renjun sighs. “I’m studying, I’m not here to become an artist.”

Usually at this point, Yukhei would pursue. For all his gooey kindness and warm smiles, the stubborn part of Yukhei would always win out.

But by some form of divine intervention, their self proclaimed common denominator—mutual friend, Renjun would insist with an eye roll—finally arrives at their table, causing a bit of a ruckus as he greets the familiar old woman who runs the restaurant they’ve all been eating at since the dawn of their college era.

“We’ll continue this later, okay?” Renjun smiles tightly, and it makes Yukhei squirm in his seat.

“Hey kiddos,“ Ten greets the two of them, giving each boy a wet smack to the cheek. ”We haven’t hung out in a while! You guys gotta fill me in, I haven’t been in formal society since I started working on my final project. You know how it goes.“

Yukhei cheers and raises his cup. “Congratulations on submitting on time, by the way!”

Ten giggles. “Thanks baby. Anyway, Renjun? What goes on with you and Lucas?”

“So apparently we’re dating now,” Renjun says without looking up from his malatang. Yukhei chokes on his coke.

The table mat is suddenly oh so interesting. Fascinating, how the designs swirl and curl around each other, a tangled mess like the network of complicated feelings Yukhei has long since refused to give the proper time of day.

Distantly, Yukhei marvels at the guts this boy has. How he can throw such a curveball after being cornered and scolded.

“Oh my god,“ Ten whispers. “You’re smiling. What the fuck. Yukhei? What’s going on?”

Yukhei slaps his cheeks and wills the chaotic whirlwind in his chest to calm down. He ignores the way Ten has started capturing this moment on his phone and lets future Yukhei worry about the repercussions of being featured on Ten’s IG for his millions of followers to see.

“You can’t just say that without warning! You’re so annoying, thinking you can just! Distract me from being mad at you like that!”

Looking up oh so demurely from his bowl, Renjun catches Yukhei’s gaze and smiles. “It’s working, though?”

A huff. “No. All you’re doing is making it obvious that you _know_ you’re in the wrong and just don’t want to apologize to me.”

Renjun’s mouth opens and closes awkwardly. “Look, I’m only going to say this once, okay? So you should remember it, except you should actually forget it, because when I finally follow through with it you gotta act like you’re all surprised.”

“Huh?” Yukhei closes his eyes and rubs his temples.

“Our anniversary, dumbass. I’m using my free time to make something for you. Which is the real reason why I can’t accept that offer.”

“… Huh?”

“Aw!” Ten sounds like he’s about to cry. Wait, what the fuck. Yukhei opens his eyes to glance at their senior and wow.

He _is_ tearing up, the weirdo! “I can’t believe this. Is that a love letter?”

Through Yukhei’s peripheral vision he notes the way Renjun shifts awkwardly, and when he finally turns to look at his best friend, he’s surprised to find that the younger boy is completely red faced.

He lowers his gaze just a little bit more to see a meticulously folded pink paper in his hands.

Ah.

“What if it is?” This time, Renjun is addressing Ten. “I was supposed to ask you to help me out with it, so that by the time I was gonna read it on my radio it would be perfect.”

 _Ah_.

A distant memory floats up in Yukhei’s mind: a gentle voice making a side comment on how romantic the notion a letter was.

“Wait.” Yukhei places a hand on Renjun’s shoulder and waits until Renjun reluctantly glances back at him.

“How did you know that I’m literally in love with you?” Wait. Better question. “Also, how do we already have an anniversary? Uh, when is this anniversary?”

Ten giggles. “How could anyone not know you’re in love? It’s like you guys tell it to each other all the time.”

And Yukhei thinks of jackets and pillows and pseudodates. Of the way touch makes him happy, of the way words can touch both of them endlessly.

“Oh,” says Yukhei. “Well, I’d really appreciate it if we, like, formally said it. I’m still kinda confused, but I guess I can roll with it.”

“Good, cause it would be really embarrassing for me, if you actually weren’t all that into the idea of dating me. I’ve been going around telling people you were my boyfriend for literal years.”

Renjun laughs shyly, and there goes Yukhei’s heart again.

Who cares, really, of who started what. Of originations and what things used to be.

From this moment forward, there is only the now, no more silly introspection and hesitation. The only memories Yukhei will ever let himself replay so very meticulously, over and over again, would probably just be Ten’s IG story.

Yukhei stares into Ten’s camera like he’s in the office. “No wonder no one’s asked me out since high school. I was starting to think that I just wasn’t as hot as I thought I was.”

Ten laughs so hard he almost drops his phone. “Your ego amazes me always, Xuxi.”

“Nah, I just threatened everyone who so much as looked at you.”

Now, that’s the line that finally gets to Ten. He nearly drops the device into his hot pot and it makes the three of them laugh even harder.

* * *

(Here’s an idea: Renjun’s first friend is also his first love. His first everything.

Renjun doesn’t remember how old they were, but he does remember the way the fan stalled overhead, slowing in its turn. How the summer sun sneaked through the ceiling window and made everything look golden. Just like this:

“… Really love you, you know?” Yukhei mumbles into his drink, very clearly unaware that he’s just confessed and made Renjun the happiest person in the whole entire world. “You have no idea how… big you make me feel.”

_You have no idea._

Renjun blanks out. He’s not really the best at words, so he doesn’t say anything at all.

Instead, he just does the next best thing: pushes the battered game console even closer to Yukhei’s side, runs a hand quietly through the older boy’s hair.

And the awkward smile that stretches across Yukhei’s lips turns into something more familiar. Blooms into the curling affection that turns the makes the garden in Renjun’s chest feel all the more crowded.

 _Love_ , Renjun thinks. What a concept.

It’s something he can get behind.)


End file.
